just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
