these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
