Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
