With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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