i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you will always have a special place in my vag
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize