please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
