I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
