sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
