I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
