Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
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