never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
