Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
