why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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