..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
