marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize
