After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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