He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
