Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
