I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
