I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
