Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
