My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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