is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
