I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I didn't shave. On purpose
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
