He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I deserve this hangover.
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