you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
