I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
