Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
i out mim tonsoeep
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