some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
