so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
