is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
