They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
