Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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