Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
