.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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