there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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