She announced her abortion via fbk
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
