Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
