Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
