absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
the condom got lost in my hair
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
