If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
