he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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