Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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