Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
