I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
