I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
