I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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