Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
