is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
