The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
