just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I feel like abortions should bother me more
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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