I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Randomize
