So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
