Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize