we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
