He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
