Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.

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(912): View more from Georgia

you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.

(919): View more from North Carolina

That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.

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(443): View more from Maryland

So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem

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(410): View more from Maryland

I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.

(1-410): View more from Maryland

I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you

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(312): View more from Illinois

My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.

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(302): View more from Delaware

seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.

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(613): View more from Ontario

Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.

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