im six kinds of drunk right now
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
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