I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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