so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize