I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
