i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
