smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
