So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
