saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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