just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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