What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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