we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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