I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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