Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
