When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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