She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
