R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
