I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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