That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
