Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
